Insecurity can impact your life in a variety of ways. It might affect your career, your willingness to try new things, or even your mental well-being. But, it could also be affecting your relationship in ways you might not realize.
While insecurity can absolutely affect your self-esteem, it can also lead to communication issues within your relationship, and create uneven roles or dependency.
Let’s take a closer look at how insecurity can impact relationships, and what you can do if you feel like your own insecurities are causing issues with your partner.
Less Trust
Insecurities can manifest themselves in a variety of ways. But, if you’re insecure about yourself, whether it’s the way you look, certain behavioral patterns, or simply thinking you’re not “good enough,” you can develop trust issues.
You might assume that your partner is cheating on you because you’re not good enough for them, or that they’re not truly happy with you. That lack of trust can lead to accusations, suspicions, or even actions that could damage your relationship, like looking through your partner’s phone or other private documents.
Lack of Communication
When you’re insecure, it’s often more difficult to open up and be vulnerable. You might assume your partner won’t want to hear what you have to say or that your needs and wants don’t really matter.
Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Without it, there’s too much room for negative assumptions and disagreements. Without communication and vulnerability, your relationship will lack intimacy, and you’ll never truly be able to know or support each other.
The Need for Reassurance
Insecurities can make you seek out reassurance from almost everyone in your life, including your co-workers, employer, family members, and friends. But, your partner will probably end up being the person you need the most reassurance from.
If you find yourself constantly seeking their validation, whether it’s something as simple as a compliment or something deeper regarding your feelings, ask yourself why. Why do you need to check in with them frequently throughout the day? Is your need for reassurance making you dependent on them? When your need for validation takes over almost everything else in your life, your dependency will start to define your relationship.
Withdrawal
Some people with insecurities take the opposite approach. Instead of wanting to be around their partner all the time, they isolate themselves and withdraw from the relationship. It could be because you don’t think you’re good enough or that your partner doesn’t really want to spend time with you. But, as you might expect, isolating yourself from someone who cares about you is going to cause even more communication issues and deeper insecurities.
You might use isolation as a defense mechanism. After all, if you withdraw from your partner, you can’t be disappointed or hurt, right? Unfortunately, it’s not a sustainable solution and will only end up harming your relationship.
What Can You Do?
If any of these situations sound familiar, insecurity could be affecting your relationship and creating long-term issues.
One of the best things you can do is to reach out to a mental health professional. It’s important to get to the root cause of your insecurity issues. Once you do that, your therapist can work with you to develop strategies that will help you overcome those issues.
As you work on yourself, you can also work with your partner. Therapy can help you open up to your partner about how you feel. It can also make it easier for you to express your needs so you can foster a healthier, more balanced relationship.
Don’t let insecurity control the narrative of your relationship a second longer. Feel free to contact me to set up an appointment for couples counseling.