Being in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you need to spend every waking moment with that person. Unfortunately, some people have different ideas about that. If you suggest to your partner that you need “me time” or personal space, they might take it the wrong way.
Or, you might be on the other end of that, feeling like they don’t want to be with you just because they’re asking for more space. In reality, personal space is very important in a relationship, and it doesn’t indicate that there’s a problem. Relationships are based on deep connections. But you don’t want to lose your identity or sense of self-worth. So, why is personal space so important in a relationship?
A Way to Recharge
When you spend every moment with another person, you aren’t giving yourself time to recharge your emotional batteries. Think of some things you like doing alone — things that help you relax and bring you peace.
Maybe it’s cooking, reading, painting, or even going on long walks. While you can do those things with your partner, there’s something to be said for doing activities you enjoy on your own time. It gives you a chance to feel rejuvenated, so you can establish a better appreciation for the moments you spend with your partner.
Without any alone time to do the things you love, you could become irritated or even resentful of your relationship.
A Sense of Self
It’s very easy to lose yourself and your identity in a relationship when you don’t establish personal space. This is especially true for people who might already deal with confidence or self-esteem issues.
There’s nothing wrong with seeing yourself as part of a unit when you’re in a relationship. But that doesn’t mean you should give up things you enjoy or even your core values. By taking time and enjoying personal space, you’ll maintain your identity and confidence, and those traits will actually make you a better partner. It strengthens personal growth and allows you to bring more of your best qualities to the relationship.
It Reduces Conflict
Every relationship deals with conflicts. Even the happiest couples argue and disagree. But spending too much time with your partner might put you at risk for even more conflicts. You might find that little things start to irritate you or that you simply wish you had a minute to yourself. You might not have time to process your emotions when something gets under your skin, so things might escalate quicker than expected.
By separating yourself sometimes, you’ll learn to appreciate your partner’s quirks rather than allowing them to annoy you. You’ll also give yourself time to better understand your feelings before you speak about something, so you won’t let emotions drive your disagreements.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
The best way to establish personal space in your relationship is to talk to your partner about it. Setting boundaries early on will make things clear and help prevent anyone’s feelings from being hurt.
Make sure your partner knows that your desire for personal space isn’t a reflection of something wrong in your relationship. Rather, it’s a way for you both to foster a sense of independence and growth that you can bring to your relationship.
Boundaries and personal space help to prevent codependency, but active communication is key. So, if you’ve been feeling like you need more personal space, don’t hesitate to open up to your partner sooner rather than later.
If your relationship is struggling, don't hesitate to reach out to us to learn more about couples counseling. Counseling will give you both a chance to understand each other's boundaries and expectations